The Red Balloon

It is 11pm
and I am
making cupcakes.

What am I doing up
at 11pm at night
making cupcakes?

Since I am a
working mom,
I am the mom
who sends
the treats
instead of
volunteers my
time.

But I AM volunteering my
time,
aren't I?

My kitchen
walls
KNOW
just how many
hours I
volunteer
my time
(even if the school
doesn't)
and my new
kitchen
is preparing
to hold this
11pm secret
too.

My kitchen understands,
(and my new kitchen will
too)
that
tomorrow
is the conclusion
of Junior Great Books
and the
party of
The Red Balloon.

When I asked
Hana what she thought
of the
story
The Red Balloon,
she said it
was
sad.

When I asked her
why
she said
because the balloon
popped.

That is sad, I say.

I remind her that
after the balloon
pops
all of the other
balloons
come
to take the little boy
to fly
around
the world.

An she says
yes,
this is a
happy
ending.

Packing the
cupcakes
I notice
my shirt.

Ironically,
it is red.

I realize
I
AM
the red balloon.

Soon I
will
pop.

The baby
will be here.
The house
will be done.
There will
be a time
when I am
sad.

But my new kitchen
walls
will be
there

witnessing 11pm
cupcake sessions
where in silence
I volunteer
my time
(and in my
mind,
travel around the
world.)

I think that
all moms know,
like kitchen's know,
these 11pm
cupcake sessions
are actually
a
HUGE
part of
a
happy

ending.

Behind the Walls

When I go to
the house
and see
the work that has
been done,

I notice
all of the things
that are
going
BEHIND
the walls,

and
INSIDE
of the
walls.

My husband
is not as
interested
as I am
in this
part
of the
building
process.

I can count
the number
of times
he
has been
to the
house
on
one
hand.

I reflect
on this
a
LOT.

For me,

it is nice for once,

to not be 

wondering

or guessing

what is 

behind

a wall

inside

a wall.

Because I know
there are
things
that you don't
know
are yours
unless you have to
open
walls;

and sometimes
this isn't
all
good.

I do not
know what
is right
sometimes...

wanting to always know
what is
behind
walls

or not?

Maybe that is
why
he and I
can build
this home
together.

Because one of us
understands
what is
behind

and

inside
walls.


and one of us
understands
that
sometimes
you don't
always
need
to
know.